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Lisa asks…

Is this essay good? Its suppose to be an essay about our own heaven.Thank u?

Heaven Is Not What I Thought It Would Be

I’m outside my house talking to friends, the sun is still up and the pungent smell of spices fill the air. When all of a suddenly the earth beneath me rumbles and houses around me begin to shake. My friends fall on the ground in fear. I heard a loud scream I recognize to be my grandmother’s voice. I started running to my house, careful not to slip on any rocks. When I reached the front of my house, the ground split and the earth swallowed me whole. The darkness over took me, there was no light to cling onto,I died. My Heaven was not what I imagined it to be instead it was hell on earth.
When I regain consciousness I knew two things: I died and the darkness that still surrounded me is my “heaven”. I always thought heaven would be paradise, a better version of the garden of eden. There were no angels in white silk robes or fountains of the best tasting water. I looked around for my relatives that died in the past but none was there to guide me. The ground I stood upon was not made of gold it was the same ground that swallowed me moments before.
My soul left, my body but didn’t reach the heaven I prayed for and believed in, I was stuck on earth. Here on earth I saw an earthquake that only lasted fifty-three seconds and cause so much devastation. The place I once called home was destroyed. Roads were spilt in two, houses were slated and trails of blood led to dying people.Dust filled the air and debris fell all around me, the air smelled of blood and sand. The screams of people echoed in what was a beautiful neighborhood.
People who died started walking with me one of whom was my friends. She approached me and asked : I saw you die, your clothes have no blood on them,why? I explained to her that I’m dead and she is too . Her face filled up with sorrow and she cried. I embraced her and we held hands. We watched our families look for our bodies, the people walking be hide us mourn the lost of their lives. The walk was unbearable, watching people scream in agony because all was lost made me want to die, again.
I came to a realization that my heaven is not blinding white light, silk robes and angels. It is reliving the detestation that claimed my life. I don’t know what I’ve done to deserve such a cruel fate, I thought I did everything right. I know there is no heaven beyond this point, I’m in “heaven” now with so many other broken hearted. I hope I can atone for whatever I did in my life so I can be free.

Stephen Clinton answers:

I’m talking to friends outside my house, the sun is still up and the air is filled with the pungent smell of spices. When all of a sudden the earth beneath me starts rumbling and houses around me begin to shake. My friends fall on the ground in fear. I hear a loud scream I recognize it to be my grandmother’s. I start running to my house, careful not to slip on any rocks. When I reach the front of my house, the ground splits and the earth swallows me whole. Then darkness over took me, there was no light at all, and I knew I had passed away. The place where I reached, thought so that it was My Heaven but it was not what I imagined it to be, instead it was hell on earth.
When I regained consciousness I knew two things: I died and the darkness that still surrounded me is my “heaven”. I always thought heaven would be paradise, a better version of the garden of Eden. There were no angels in white silk robes or fountains of the best tasting water. I looked around for my relatives that died in the past but no one was there to guide me. The ground I stood upon was not made of gold it was the same rough ground that swallowed me moments before.
My soul leftmy body, but didn’t reach the heaven as I had prayed for and believed in, I was stuck on earth. Here on earth I saw an earthquake that only lasted fifty-three seconds and caused so much devastation. The place I once called home was destroyed. Roads were spilt into two, houses were slated and trails of blood led to dying people.Dust filled the air, high and low all you can see is debris, the air smelled of blood and sand. The screams of people echoed in what was once a beautiful neighborhood.
People who passed away started walking with me one of them turned out to be my friend. She approached me and asked : I saw you die, your clothes have no blood on them,why? I explained to her that I’m dead and she is too . Her face filled up with sorrow and she cried. I held her hands, put my arms around her and sobbed. We watched our families look for our bodies, the people walking beside us mourning the lost of their lives. The walk was unbearable, watching people scream in agony because all was lost and it made me want to die, again.
I came to a realization that my heaven is not blinding white light, silk robes and angels. It is reliving the detestation that claimed my life. I don’t know what I’ve done to deserve such a cruel fate, I thought I did everything right. I know there is no heaven beyond this point, I’m in “heaven” now with so many other broken hearted. I hope I can atone for whatever I did in my life so I can be free.

Linda asks…

I need your opinion on this book please!?

I really want your opinion on this. Did I leave something out? Is there something in there that should not be? Just want to say: This Sucked!!!!? Please, I need all the help I can get. I am going to check out book from the library about the Titanic, and I have a couple of books, but I also need awesome peoples’ opinions. Really, say anything you want. I will not bite. :D

People laughed and cried as people about to board the Titanic said goodbye to their relatives. I, however, was not one of them. I was going on the Titanic, and I am only twelve years old. I could have bought a 2nd class ticket, but I decided to keep my money for more important materials. All I have is my sketching pad, my tools for that, and my clothes on me, my pockets only carrying a hundred dollars. For life. I only earn 10 cents a day. Sure, my drawings (usually landscapes and people) are really good, but nobody takes the time to socialize with a poor person. So there I was, leaving, going to America. I was pushed to the inspection doctors. The doctor looked at me with sort of a grimace. I could tell they wanted to be a first class passenger on the Titanic instead of having to check peoples’ dirty heads and bodies for and illness or diseases.
“Eh! You there!” another doctor called to me. The first doctor looked relieved. I slumped over to the second doctor, purely out of boredom.
“Let me check you. Hmmm…let’s see…no disease…healthy skin…but look at the state of his clothes!” The doctors chuckled to himself. I looked down at myself. Clean clothes! No stains! I was not sure if he intended for me to hear that, but I replied a smart-alic response anyway.
“I do beg pardon sir, but I believe my clothes are in a shape almost as fine as yours.” The doctor looked agitated.
“All right, sonny. Move along, or you won’t go. I can talk to the authorities. Next!” The doctor waved me on. I hated being called ‘sonny’. I walked over to the gangplank where a huge sign was adorned in fancy cursive: Third Class Passengars. The third class people were waved on board by bored looking officers and lutenats, and I looked around me as soon as I was up on the front part of the massive liner. The ground seemed far below me as I leaned up against the railing. I felt almost free, as if I owned the world. The cool air whipped around me, stinging a little. I slowly came back to the world when I heard an young Irish man yell at me.
“Oiy! You there! Put yer stuff belaw, laddie! I say Misser, if you be wanting a lost luggage, keep roaming around!” The man wobbled over to me, heaving his two luggage cases, his puffy marshmallow cheecks turning red. He grunted when he set down his bags, a strong scent of potatoes filling my nose. He was a short little man, no more than five feet tall. I looked around me.
“Ah, me brain is a-thinking ya have nathin to carry, am me right, lad?” I nodded.
“Yessir.”
“Come with me lad, I thinks I shall find yer berth.”
My birth?
Seeing the confused look on my face, he answered, “Yer BED, laddie.”
I awkwardly half-wobbled, half-walked with the man.
“Me Messers name me Fallon Swedel. What be yer name, lad?”
“Cael, sir. Not to be rude, but I would feel very much obliged if you stop calling me lad.”
“Aye, Cael. Yer Messers give you a last name?”
I chose not to answer. I walked with the reddish-blond haired man until I found my cabin.
P.S I am 13 years old and this is hard because I’m writing literally 6 books right now and I’m reading like, 8. :|

thanks!!!

Stephen Clinton answers:

Hhm ok I am not sure about your opening line>>>>People laughed and cried as people about to board the Titanic said goodbye to their relatives.

The only reason being you repeat the word “people” twice in the same sentence, why don’t you try something like this>>> People laughed and cried as they boarded the Titanic and waved goodbye to their loved ones.

I was going on the Titanic, and I am only twelve years old.<<<< tense switch here from past to present.

Try<<>>>> All I have is my sketching pad, my tools for that, and my clothes on me, my pockets only carrying a hundred dollars.

Try>>> All I had was my sketch pad, my tools and my clothes that I wore. My pockets only carrying one hundred dollars.

So there I was, leaving, going to America.<<<< start a new paragraph here. And cut of the "So, there I was" change it to something else.

I think you have a great story here, just needs a bit of work.

I love your dialogue, it read really well

Good Luck x

Michael asks…

Which of these families deserves government mortgage help?

Please tell me which of the following families deserves government mortgage help:

A. single mother with three kids. working, never married, child support erratic at best. bought a house in 2006 with a 5/1 ARM subprime loan. can’t afford payments now that the introductory low interest rate is ending.

B. married couple with two kids. both were working in 2005 when they bought a house using an alt-a loan. she lost her job in 2007 and her new one pays less. his self-employment business is slowing as his customers feel pinched and do without his service due to the “recession”. two months behind on payments with reset to higher rate in November.

C. married couple without children. Lost their house to foreclosure in 2007 after he was disabled in a work accident. Disability wasn’t enough to continue making the payments after his medical costs soared.

D. 83 year old widow. Owns her house free and clear, but can’t afford the property taxes and insurance because houses in her neighborhood tripled in past ten years due to easy money loans and thus many buyers. Now can’t sell as the market has crashed. Six months past due on property taxes.

E. couple with two college age children who re-fi’d their house in 2006 to pay their childrens’ tuition. Closed a 401k to make tuition payments in 2007 and borrowed from relatives to pay again this fall. House is 45 days past due but older child doesn’t graduate until December 2010.

F. Retired couple whose only regular income is small pension plus social security. Their retirement assets in stock market have taken a beating this year. Borrowed in 2004 against their house when he had a heart attack that caused his early retirement [which crippled his pension]. Rising costs of gas and food have made them 30 days past due and they have no way to catch up without further damaging their retirement assets.

G. Manager and stay at home wife with two children in public school. He lost his job two years ago — it was outsourced to China. Now works at Home Depot, but the money isn’t 1/3rd of what he used to make. Still looking for that managerial job, which costs hundreds a month in extra costs. they’ve gotten their foreclosure notice and are thinking about filing bankruptcy to buy time.

H. Market trader and retired wife who lost $125,000 when his short sales were arbitrarily ended by SEC order in this financial crisis. Hasn’t made trading profit since last October. Now two months late and getting daily phone calls from mortgage servicing company asking for money he can’t pay if he is ever to recover his losses in the markets.

I. Retired couple who saved and planned out their retirement for last 25 years. Retired in 2007 owing nothing, but living off 401k payouts and social security. their assets are down 25% so far in this recession and they’ll have to cut costs next year, which means short selling the house into increasingly bad market and paying bank off on the loss over next who knows how many years [if ever].

J. Sixty something widow whose assets were wiped out by husband’s death via Alzheimer Disease and private nursing home for 4 years. Has only Social Security now as all their retirement assets except the house went to pay the nursing home. Took a mortgage in 2005 to pay off the husband’s medical bills and burial.

***
please tell me which, if any, of these families deserve government help in staying in their home or recovering their home.

This question has no political point to make and is solely to gather information regarding what the Y!A public thinks America’s public policy should be.
While all of these situations are real to some family, I carefully crafted each of them to show a case where the people involved arguably are losing or lost their home because some other part of our economic system had a breakdown.

In theory, none of these deserve government mortgage help, imo. Some of them needed either less or more government in some other part of their lives and because of that issue, were financially savaged to the point of losing their home.

Afaic, the mortgage industry should NOT bear the brunt of other failures in America’s systems — doing so only distorts the economy even further.

Did the mortgage industry have its own failures? YES.

Mostly, they had a failure of spine. They didn’t stand up to Congress and HUD in the 1990s when both needed to be told that their rules were requiring the banks to write bad loans that shouldn’t have ever been made.

Big government needed to be told “NO”.

Stephen Clinton answers:

None. Government isn’t supposed to provide cradle to grave.

Hotsauce. Dont be scared we have made it through harder times. We will be okay. It will be a little harder for a while.

Helen asks…

im a guy with allll bad luck in my life nothing good for me in life.its like god made me and forget about me?

im a 28 year old guy with biggest bad luck ever.its about many things not just about 1.i was in relationship from last 10 years and now i was just about to get marry with her but at the exect moment that girl said no to me as she wants to marry a some rich guy.she started talking about money,cars,b.m.w and stuff.even she refused to have a relationship with me from 10 years infront of her family right b4 the marry.i lost my dad some months ago.i was allready hurt because of this thing and now this.i gave her each and everything i had but now im like stranger to her.but now as her own relatives told me that she never loved me she just wanted to come abroad nothing else.i felt like stupid and side by,she used me so badly just for money and funand things for herself,i was just a stand buy option for her nothing else.its just been 3 weeks and now she is in a relationship again with her neighbour and looking for marry.she had an 3 affairs when we were together buti alwz accepted her like nothing happned.even she did allot of worse things with others still i accpeted her..but again at the last moment i lost money,happiness,,,pride,,trust,,love,, and life.im just feeling like sooo use and throw stuff right now.it is not about the girl stuff..it is about that somebody used me like a crap just for fun and lavish life and at last made me feel like trash….i dont know what to do ? kill myself ?? trying to forget her but everyday missing her also.i dont lover her now because she bacstabbed me just for money but still my part was pure wich is hurting me too much.10 years of love stepped back in 10 seconds.right before the marry..im trying to give my atteettion to other things in life but its very hard and kinda impossible for me.i do hate her now.but now i feel like crap ,used,fool,,trash. dont know what to do ..how to remove 10 years of memories from my mind.feel like killing myself so that i can b free from all this..i wish anyone can help or tell me something..thnx allot guys.wish you all good life and luck.

Stephen Clinton answers:

Hey Hey Almost drepessed boy!
Come on! Life use to do stuff like that with us so suddenly.
Yah. 10 years is kinda LONG TIME, but it’s not 11, u see? Could be worst.
Your feelings? Oh man, it’s hurting I know, but could be worst too.
If someone tell you u need self-help books this someone will be lying. YOU ARE PRETTY OK. And it’s time for you to see the positivy side of it all. She never deserved you or your time or your money.
Women aren’t seeking money as the midia says. They seek confort and that’s what money provides them. What we can’t let happen it’s when this confort become the first thing of the relationship (that happens plenty times, just like in ur case). HOW TO DO THAT? It’s easy. Showing the girl u are dating that you are the one who say the rules. It must flow in your way.

Ten years bro. Yah, ten years that are making u feel like crap, but if u see it better, profoundly, u’ll see more than that. YOU’VE BEEN LEARNING SO MUCH ABOUT WOMEN BEHAVIOUR WHILE THIS TIME and that, noone can take away from you anymore. Lots of the bad-ass guys with girls outside would like to know 10% that you do when it comes about “living together” (don’t need to be living together at all, in the same house, got me? :S). And the best part of it all is that the learnt part will be used with ur nexts love experience by ur subcounscious without u even notice. U’ve become even more mature.
I’m sure you would never hurt urself. U seem not to be this kind of jerk. Face the trouble my friend! Beat them all. The adrenalin that u feel after wining the batles are stimulant enough.
Go out. Find new friends. Aproach new chicks and never pass over urself just to please one of them. Women are humans just like us and for our luck, the society put us as the leader of the relationship. What else we want?! HAHA That’s gorgeous. Pity that only a few guys know how to use that. Become one of them ;)

Take care and good luck!

George asks…

What do you think of my story? Have any opinions/ suggestions.?

Trapped in the Forest

There were three animals: Martin, the parrot; Grace, the cat; and Mark, the goat. The three animals were best friends. They live in a village in Texas. The three planned to go to Daytona Beach, Florida. They were excited to go to the beach. From Texas to Florida, the three has to cross these three states: Louisiana, Mississippi, and Alabama. The three had crossed Louisiana and now they’re in Mississippi. While driving in Mississippi, the three were unaware and had no idea that there’s a tornado behind them. The tornado carried away the car they were riding in. “I hope we don’t die” Mark said. The car they were riding in landed in the middle of a forest in Mississippi. Martin had a headache because he was badly hurt, had bruises on his right wing and left leg. Grace had a big, bloody wound on her back, and cuts on her face and legs. Mark’s leg was aching and had bruises all over his body. “This is hopeless” Grace said. “Don’t lose hope” Martin said. “I hope we can get out of here soon, without getting eaten, or killed by a lion, tiger, or snake” Grace said. “I was not expecting this to happen to us” Martin said.“Oh no! The glasses of my car are broken, and a door of my car is missing and one of the wheels of my car is flat” Mark said. “That’s terrible” Martin said. Grace looked around and saw a lion near them. “Quick hide! There’s a lion nearby” Grace said. They hid at the back of the car. The lion did not see them. While they were trapped in the forest, Mark ate the grasses and fishes there, Grace ate the fishes there, and Martin ate some worms and fishes. They drank water from the river in the forest. They also took a bath in the river. They also cured their bruises and wounds using their First Aid Kit. After 20 days, all their bruises and wounds are cured. They also pray everyday that they will get out of the forest soon and they’ll be safe there. Moreover, they always tried to find ways to get out of the forest, but they always fail. They felt unhappy, worried, and afraid everyday. They were almost eaten by lions, tigers, and snakes, but they were always lucky enough not to get eaten by those animals. Those animals just wounded them. Their families, friends, and relatives are worried already and they were crying everyday. They felt unhappy, worried, and afraid everyday, and they told about them to the police. They tried to find them everywhere and everyday but no one has a clue where they are. Their families, friends, and relatives thought that they were dead because of a car accident or they drowned in the beach, or someone abducted them and never set them free. They tried calling their families, friends, and relatives through the cellphone but Grace lost her cellphone because of the tornado. Martin forgot to bring his cellphone and it’s at his house in Texas. On the day when they were trapped in the forest because the tornado blew away their car, Mark was standing up while playing games in his cellphone, then he accidentally slipped and his cellphone fell in the river. A week after the 20th day, the three decided to sleep at the back of the car. They forgot to close the back of the car. Mark woke up because he felt like he was being watched. He checked what it was and he was shocked to see an anaconda in the car. He quickly gets the things they are going to use and wear in the beach, and their food. He woke up Grace and Martin. The three ran so fast while the anaconda was trying to chase and swallow them. The three were able to find a way to get out of the forest. The anaconda wasn’t able to chase them. “Yehey!!! We’re out of the forest” the three shouted happily. Mark’s car is still in the forest. The three just rode in a bus going to Daytona Beach, Florida. They crossed Alabama and they already reached Florida. They had fun there and they stayed there for four days. They went back to Texas and they told to their families, friends, and relatives of what happened to them and they thanked God that they’re still alive. Martin, Grace, Mark, their friends, relatives, and families are all crying when they saw each other.

Stephen Clinton answers:

I am wondering if it would make more sense to change the parrot to a wood pecker since they don’t have parrots here. That is not a big deal, but something to consider. Change village in Texas to Houston, Texas. Houston is a city, in the south they don’t use the word village, that is something they would say in the New England states. If you make the story from Houston, they trip could go from Interstate 10 going east, it would be a straight shot to florida and then they could take Interstate 95 going south once they got to Jackson Florida to Daytona Beach. Just a thought. Put the middle of the Desoto National Forrest in Mississippi, that would be correct. No lions this far south, Bears are a stretch, but could happen, I think wild hogs are the big drama here now, and in Desoto they are having problems with the wild hogs now too. Maybe foxes and coyotes. Snakes would be rattle snakes or copperheads. When Grace sees a lion, change that to wild hog, or brown bear. The hog is more believable than the bear. If you use a woodpecker instead of a parrot, that would make more sense for eating worms. I don’t know if birds eat fish. Again, change lions and tiger, you won’t find them in America unless they are in a zoo. It wouldn’t likely take a rescue team a month to find someone lost in the woods. You should make a comment that the woods were really thick with trees and that the three could hear rescue helicopters, but they couldn’t see them because the trees were so thick. That way it explains why it took so long for someone to find them. Change a week after the 20th day to On the 27th day in the Desoto National Forrest, the three decided to sleep (in) the back of the car. (Americans would say sleep in a car, and remember to mark time in your stories so we can follow the time lines. I guess Americans have to have time lines. Ha ha) Wait a minute, Mark had a cell phone to play video games, he could have called *55 (the number we call for emergencies on the highway) and got help, and the police would have found them. His battery wouldn’t have held a charge for 20 days. Change anaconda to rattle snake or copperhead. I am not sure if copperhead is one word or two, so maybe you should go with rattle snake. The snake would scare them and they would scream and run, but the snake would go in the opposite direction, not that they would notice since they were running, but for the integrity of your story. When they get out of the forrest, the forrest Rangers let them call home so their families will know they are o.k. The forrest Ranger then takes them to the bus station and they take a bus to Daytona beach and they had fun there and stay four days. AAA Insurance company tows Marks car back to Houston Texas. They went back to Houston (by bus or plane), and they told their families……..The rest of the story is fine. Pretty good story, you are getting better at these. Just remember to work on the time lines and we don’t have tropical animals like lions and tigers here. Those kind of animals would be in Africa. When you are writing these stories try typing in the search engine something like wild life, or wild animals in the Desoto National forrest, or what ever area you are studying in class. That way you have integrity to your story. Good job.

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